Unsure state

Sebenernya mulai berpikir hal beginian sejak ada usulan mencantumkan gambar penunjuk jalan sebagai cover depan Buku Angkatan Fasilkom 2002. Penunjuk jalan yang menjadi simbolisme pilihan yang akan diambil selepasnya kita dari bangku kuliah. Apakah bakal ngelanjutin S2, langsung melamar pekerjaan, atau menikah? =P

Alhasil, I stumbled upon so many scholarship sites, mulai dari Erasmus Mundus, DAAD, Fulbright - AMINEF, dll... and somehow at one point I thought, "What the hell am I doing?"

Oh my God, I'm not sure about my future =(

I'm not sure about what kind of job I would like to do. Heck, I'm not even sure what kind of field I would pretty much enjoyed to surf in.

Aaaaargh.... what have I done in the last four years in this %$%#$%&% faculty???

Back when I was just a highschool student, I was so damn sure where and what is the next step I'd like to take (ALERT: grammar confuse!!)... entah itu melanjutkan ke SMU mana and universitas mana...

But then, after all those struggling and pencarian jati diri yang agak-agak payah dari seorang Maya -_-#, it's seems that I've been doing this whole brown motions and ended up in a null state. Damn it!

Last Christmas eve, I was asked by one of my uncle about my next plan. And all I could do was smile politely and said that I was in the middle of searching for vacancies and scholarships. Yeah right!

I'm panic, for telling you the truth...

And I'm thinking of doing some business on my own. However, the idea is totally humorous and just for fun thingy. I don't think it will actually be implemented in such way. Masalahnya, kalo mikirin tu prospek usaha I'll feel somewhat cheerie and whole ideas (and the passion) spontaneously come up... just like that!

I luv it when my creativity and niat and semangat untuk melakukan sesuatu tu muncul, which is a rare phenomenon -_-# Mein Gott!!!

Then still, the big Q... what the heck am I going to do with my future?

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