Part 1: She Knows He Knows

He touched her finger that was still pointed at his chest, "Still manage to scare the day out of me, I see." She smiled. Too sweetly. "Are you trying to get us killed? Not a good day to die, you say?".

How To Cross Road In Margonda

Somebody should publish this kind of booklet long before I even got enrolled in University of Indonesia. Duh! 1. If there's eventually a traffic light for passerby, please DO pay attention. It's not there for decoration purpose (only).

Dream High

Once upon a time, in one particular high school, lived one particular girl student. Let's call her Suzy. Not only that she got the looks, she also had the wealth and singing talent and lots of antis. All things other girls could only imagine.

Story From Far Java

On my last visit to Jogja (seriously this city has something captivating), I happened to visit Kraton Ngayogyakarta Hadiningrat and Kraton Surakarta in one-day-trip to Solo.

Letting Go

The big question of letting go bugged my mind around these last couple of months. Some things.. are they worth to keep, or should I let them go. Think I'm pretty good of letting things go, but when inputs and comments started to coming in, I'd have to reconsider my decision.

Monday, October 31, 2005

Up down the Hill of the So-called Mood

Well, well...Another nu post..

Hypocrite
Baru-baru ini baca koran tentang sejarah Kongres Pemuda 1928 yang pada akhirnya melahirkan Sumpah Pemuda yang kita kenal sekarang.. and uhm, I'm a bit jealous. Jaman baheula dulu, semangat nasionalisme pemuda2 Indonesia bener2 bikin ngiri, fyi mereka masih bicara dalam bahasa Belanda dan hanya segelintir yang bisa bicara bahasa Melayu.
Up to one moment, ada mahasiswa dari Jawa yang permisi ngomong dalam sidang, dan sebelum ngomong dia minta maaf karena tidak bisa menggunakan bahasanya sendiri.. and then he started to speak in Dutch.

Lemme rephrase that... dia minta maaf karena belum bisa menggunakan bahasanya sendiri...

Is there still any kind of respect these days? To our nation, language and people?

Gue jelas-jelas bukan manusia Indonesia yang fanatik terhadap negaranya, no... honestly, I want to get out from this country as soon as possible... lucunya, denger2 dari pengalaman orang, bangsa Indonesia di negeri orang itu cenderung lebih punya nasionalisme daripada yang ada di dalam tanah airnya sendiri. And I'm okay with that, I may be one of them some day, but for now... I'm not that proud for being an Indonesian, either for being Bataknese...

Leisure
Gue lagi baca Shaman King, dan bacaan ringan-ringan lainnya. Dunno why, but these days semangat anak-anak gue muncul =D Majalah-majalah anak-anak sekarang macemnya XY Kids dan Kreatif dan Princess lagi sering gue baca (walaupun lebih karena sepupu gue membelinya =P) tapi lucu aja de, bener2 berasa balik lagi ke masa lalu saat gue masih belum dipusingkan dengan pernak-pernik kuliahan, kerjaan, dan imajinasi gue masi bebas mengelana ke mana2...

Gue masi suka baca KungFu Boy, Doraemon, Cedric, Donal Bebek dan sebangsanya... Cerita2 macem gitu tu masi enak dibaca, ngga ngikutin jaman banget2, dan ngga basi kalo sepuluh tahun lagi gue baca lagi =)

Aaah, so happy to be a child...

Lonely
[darker mood mode on]

Kemaren gue menyadari sesuatu yang cukup bodoh. Ternyata I still can't let go... Kapan gue bisa memfilter memori gue dan mengambil elemen2 yang menyenangkan doang dari semua ingatan gue? Asli lah, ngga lucu banget bisa tiba-tiba berkaca-kaca pas lagi buka-buka blog, ketawa2 sampe sakit perut bareng Adhita dan di saat yang sama pengen nyambit tu anak pake sendal karena bikin gue inget sesuatu yang ingin gue lupakan... Damn it, I felt so not me...

Dari semua orang yang pernah ninggalin gue, mulai dari bokap gue, kakek dan nenek gue, ampe ni temen2 gue... dia adalah manusia yang paling bikin gue berasa menyesal. Jeez, gue bahkan bisa ngerasain tuh perasaan sekarang, in exact moment when I wrote this line. Seandainya gue ngga balik duluan, seandainya gue tetep di lab bareng dia ngerjain Anaperancis gue, seandainya gue ikut makan siang bareng ama dia, balik ke kampus bareng dia, pulang dari lab bareng dia...
will it still be happen? Or will it be me instead of him? Damn it, it will be much better if that's what happened....at least I won't feel this damn feeling

Gosh, you will never know how it felt pas hari Seninnya, gue membuka email gue dan ada message dari dia yang isinya pembagian tugas Anaperancis gue beserta kata-kata dia banget yang sok merintah2 dan seenak jidat ngasi deadline, yang masi bisa bikin gue ketawa di tengah2 perasaan gue yang only God knows what...

Can you imagine how it feel to see the new email subject in your inbox, and it turned out it was from your dearest friend who just went away the very same day he wrote that freakin email? It made you felt like all things you've been through is just a f*ckin dream... You actually felt the hope, goddamnit... But it became worse when you realized the truth, it was SO not a dream, he's still gone, and the email is the last thing you ever read from him again... ever...

Dear, I missed that friend so much these days, when everything seemed to get harder and tougher... when I could pictured his very reaction if he dealt the same situation as I did right now... when I know that I could shared my problem and stressing it out to him just to annoy that guy... when I know there's still him I could hang on to (and to tease with)...

I refuse not to call myself a selfish lil prat, yes right now I'm feeling that much selfish, if only he's still be here... if only it was another person instead of him that died on that day... I actually thought if only it was just another person from my class, anyone but my group... Aaah, jadi ingeet lagi gmana jahatnya pikiran gue pas gue nerima tu kabar...

I should've known it's now time where I should behave, but... then again, I felt hopeless...

[darker mood mode off]

Hatred

Been deal with this issue for quite some time, and I'm getting tired of it... What do they want??? For God's sake, can't they just leave me alone?? How I envy the life without so much bothering and nagging and yelling right upon my face. Gosh, grow up! It's my risk I'm taking this goddamnit subject of computer science that cause me lack of sociality at home, but puh-lease... no other family seemed to take this personal.. Aaargh... If they want me to give some attention to the so-called family-member, then FINE... should I shove it right down their ass or sumtin?? My God, haruskah gue melakukan semua yang gue lakukan pas mereka lagi ada?? Emangnya gara-gara mereka ngga ngeliat sendiri kontribusi gue di DEPAN MATA mereka, trus they consider it as it was never happen? Well, f*ck them!

Down
List whatever things that I'll have in the next year and on...
- getting the bloody nu place to stay!
- getting out from Indonesia, whether it's legal or not, who cares?
- my own money! F*ck their money, i've never asked anyway...
- a bachelor degree!
- a guy to torture (nah, just kidding) =P A boyfriend would be more likely...

It's me again
Moody, pretty suit my post theme today, isn't it? Figures, since I wrote it continually in two days, maan, what a mood! Tadi iseng2 ngga ada kerjaan bikin flier buat OpRec Ristek yang hanya Tuhan (dan Arnold) yang tahu kapan bakal dilakukan =D Trus seharian sms-in orang2, just to keep myself busy (bahkan waktu kebaktian gereja pun gue ber-sms ria -.-)

Klik to enlarge... Any comments and constructional critics are welcome... Other than that, get lost!

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Tontonan gue selama dua hari ini adalah dvd ngga jelas berjudul Six Feet Under yang lama2 bikin cape berhubung no episodes without somebody showed up naked or doing sex -_-" tapi kadang2 bikin gue ngakak gara2 dialognya itu so damn ironic and literally sarcastic =D Thx to Vina and Cecep yang merelakannya untuk gue tilep sementara...

Daan, gue sakit lagi dengan suksesnya. Ugh, nasib! Udah sembuh dari batuk dan ritual meminum obat sialan itu, eeh gue malah flu sekarang... tiap pagi sukses megap2 nyari udara berhubung hidung tersumbat dan malem2 seperti sekarang udah menuh2in tempat sampah dengan tissue. Yeakh!

Teman-teman saya... either udah pada jadian, ato sedang pdkt dengan gebetannya, or mati2an menghindar dari gosip anak2 padahal sering keliatan berdua (he must've killed me for writing this down, but that will only happen IF he read this blog of course =D), kadang2 membuat gue berpikir, apakah gara2 ini tahun terakhir jadi pada ngejer target buat bersama seseorang yang spesial? Lucky you...

*sigh*

Hey to all of you who happen to read this, sorry for the improper choice of words =D Just finding this blog as my cozy lair to tell everything. Despite all the opinion and judgement and whatever feeling you got there, pals =) Sorry if there's such thing that might offended you in any means (yeah, rite!) So, I guess that's all... and uhm... I shall bid you goodbye now =D Tchuz...

Friday, October 21, 2005

SAW

GIla, gue baru nonton tuh pelem sinting yang judulnya SAW, and if one of you happened to watch it before, please... spare me the umpatan2 indah >_<

Elaaaaaaaaaah, gilaaaa, gue benci banget tuh film, and it's not because it was a sucks one, nooo... it was a good thriller psychotic movie... but the ending... AAARGH!!! I hate it!!! It hurted me when I knew who the bad guy really is, but it hurted me MORE when I know the ending!!!

$#@%^!!!!
Aslilah, banyak umpatan2 'lucu' keluar dari mulut gue pas abis nonton >_<

What the peeps????

Sebenernya sih gue kagum, aslilah gue suka ama pelem yang bikin gue ber-"What the???" ria.. tapi aga2 sucks lhooo kalo tau akhirnya itu.... idiiiih, tinggal sejentik doang!!! Seiprit lagi tamat daaah!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRGHH!!!!!

SPOILER ALERT!

Kutu bebek kurang ajar!!! I should've known better when I took notice on the set... I should've AWARE about that stupid STUPID bald guy.... aaaaargh, pengen nyekek oraaang....
>_<

Guys, nonton de... dengan hati yang tenang dan pikiran yang jernih... di ruangan gelap sendirian dengan sound system mantab... and it will really really absolutely caught you off guard =D

Recommended for a sick movie lover like me (and tjepo -_-#) and not recommended for you who have a tender loving care mumbo jumbo feeling =P

Oh yeah, ini movie sejenis SE7EN tapi masi mendingan... ngga bikin 'hiee??' alias bengong lemot di akhir cerita =D

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Medicine

Guys, take my advice...

Don't get sick!

Omigod, dari jaman kapan gue tu paling ngga bisa nelen obat... tau de ya, kayanya pas jamannya SD sempet bisa, tapi entah mengapa (jieh) sekarang ngga bisa lagi..
Gue mutlak benci obat >_<
Kalo ngga sakit2 amat gue ngga mau nelen tuh obat, amit-amit... huhuhu....
Mending gue dikasi puyer (ewww...) ato ngga kapsul biar nelennya gampang, yaelah... gue bahkan ngga bisa nelen Panadol >_< Ngga sukaaaa...

Hueeeks.....

Tadi di helpdesk gue dengan suksesnya melakonkan adegan ngancurin tablet menjadi puyer biar bisa diminum (mana niat bgt gue pake bawa2 2 sendok segala)... dan btw... tuh obat yaa.. antibiotik baunya minta ampuuun... uuugh...

Hueeeks.....

Friday, October 14, 2005

Eww

My first attempt on making this horrible banner is that... uhm, when i'm trying to relocate my mind from that stupid, endless effort, thinking about that silly comment Sylvi had made.... aargh, so bloody ridiculous...erase that line this instant, My!

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EDITED

Baru menonton Sisterhood of The Travelling Pants... and I don't think that's a lousy movie at all =) In fact, I sort of like it =)
If you watched this movie, you'll be served a very nice view of Greece, Mexico and US (duh!), and the plot was quite lite, easy to understand and it's sooo girlish =D
Hahahaha... but, that's a nice watch, anyway...

Trus trus, kemaren menonton Janji Joni, dan dengan semangatnya meng-assign that one to be my paper in Sinematika subject... and that simply because of that one tiny scene inside the trash-cart (don't exactly knowing the real term anyway), the scene where Nicholas Saputra and Rachel Maryam both nyalain pemantik mereka....
Oh so sweet...

Dan tadi pas kelas Sinema akhirnya menonton sekelebat dari film Secret Garden! I haven't watched that movie for about.... 6 YEARS!!!! Aaaargh, nostalgic... very nostalgic...